Maybe

I don’t know where I went wrong
No footsteps to retrace
My head was clear, but now distressed
as all my plans are laid to waste

I feed the god of need within
I slouch down with every bite
Guilt and shame come over me
and I’ve lost my will to fight

Catalogues of wisdom
Archived in my cells
My storehouses of knowledge
haven’t spared me from this hell

Deviated from redemption
Dislocated from the frame
Consumed by raging silence
with every weakness on display

Maybe I had too much pride
in my few days of paradise
Maybe, blind to the signs
of the seduction of my mind
Maybe I dropped my guard
or maybe I just tried too hard
Maybe I was self-assured
in a world where self is blurred
Maybe I missed my cue
I ate but I forgot to chew
Maybe I forgot to breathe
Maybe I got the best of me

Confounded by frustration
I’ve walked this road before
Why have I returned here?
I don’t want this anymore

There are no new lessons here
I’ve learned them all a thousand times
But my words still raise a standard
to which these actions don’t comply


Also published on Medium.