Disarming the unarmed

You disarmed me
but I wasn’t armed
to begin with
Mouth agape
Tribal heartbeat
Swept up
Fleeting sense of kismet
Knowing, “You are the one”
Then a chuckle
Because it means nothing
In a game of letting go
I’m the Emperor…
except when it comes
to letting go
of my need
to wake up in a new world
far from here
light years away
To arrive,
we’d need to break
time and space
Thus, my bottom lip protrudes
in an epic toddler pout
Because I can’t go back
to the infatuation I felt
when I first saw your face
and even if I could
I wouldn’t.
Just because.

Reprogrammed at the speed of light
Calibrated for the speed of sound
Moving at the speed of death

I hold the memories fondly
of what we are in other layers
of sweet home multiverse
Where we laugh and win
and our inner children flourish
and where I know
who to be
how to be
It’s a perfect storm
of everything making sense
In such stark contrast
to this brooding satire
that catalyzes these words
Maybe I’m undead here
to thrive in those other realms
but I guess
I’m just
having my Jesus delusions

Hey, tongue-in-cheek now
Interpret at your own peril
But ignore at mine
How’s that?
For nice and impossible?

Oh, stop it
Just do your thing
I’ll keep living this dream
and aiming for out of my league
and making sports metaphors
even though I don’t like sports
And I’ll worry you at times
But not enough to satisfy me
Sometimes I just want you to see
what it’s really like to be me
But then again, if you could
I’d feel badly
So don’t do that.

Sometimes in deep breaths
the demons relent
But sometimes I forget to breathe
for months

Also published on Medium.