Every party doesn’t have a party pooper.
But in the rare event a pooper shows up at a party…
My mind usually goes, “Every party has a party pooper.”
But that’s a lie.
These distinctions matter.
It might be hard to put to a catchy tune, but the saying should be more like, “Statistically speaking, there’s maybe a 10-30% chance that a party will have a pooper, but a lot of it depends on the quality of the people I choose to surround myself with, so I could probably get that percentage even lower by being more discerning about how I use my time; after all, we become the average of the 6 or so people we spent the most time with, so it’s best to make it count.”
I’ll give you a dollar if you put those exact words to a catchy tune.
Is your mind an exaggerator? Do you dwell in the land of Always and Never? Do you say, “I’ve said it a million times!” when you’ve maybe said it twenty times?
Our words are insightful indicators into the way we think.
Our emotions respond to our words…
Then, our emotions can feed back into our words…
So, if we go around exaggerating, the weight of our emotions may to some degree match those exaggerations.
I know someone who I get along with rather well, but when we get into it, they say things like, “We never get along!” and, “Every time I try to talk to you, you always get defensive!”
Every time? Always? You sure?
I do the same thing, sometimes. It used to be more frequent, because I didn’t look for the all-or-nothing flavor in my thoughts and words.
It’s beneficial to be mindful about the words we use, because exaggerated thinking throws us out of balance. By correcting this, we reduce the psychic toll on ourselves and those we interact with.
Exaggerated thinking can actually throw us into a state of fight-or-flight over the most mundane things. Otherwise known catastrophic thinking. Making mountains out of mole hills. Making planets out of grains of sand.
Every party does not have a party pooper.
You probably haven’t said anything a million times.
The words “always” and “never” do not really apply to anything practical when it comes to human interactions.
Except that you’re always beautiful. And always a work of art, even when life hurts. And you’re never worthless, even when you feel like you are.
Other than that, “always” and “never” are pretty much crap. Maybe 80-90% of the time.
When there is an 80-90% chance of rain, it’s probably going to rain.
When you have an 80-90% chance of landing a successful attack in Final Fantasy Tactics, you’ll probably feel good about taking that chance.
So when you find yourself using the words “always” and “never” you can know that there is an 80-90% chance it’s a good opportunity to reassess your vocabulary choices.
Unless you like carrying the extremes on your back like a knapsack full of rocks. That’s an option too. Maybe it’ll make you buff.
Also published on Medium.