Self-discovery and healing with Ayahuasca (asking for support)

I’ve spent these last two years in a downward spiral of depression. My life has gotten to a deeply hopeless point, and I am in desperate need to shake things up.

It’s sort of like I’m fresh juice and all the good stuff has fallen down to the bottom of the jug, leaving most of me a weird, watered-down version of myself.

Over the past few years I’ve seen two psychiatrists, three therapists, tried five medications, and the results have all been the same: I’m still stuck.

During this time, I’ve been unemployable. I am in the process of appealing a disability claim, but that’s a very slow process. I’m crawling out of my skin here, and I need to find a way to exist in this society while still being true to myself.

Henceforth, I want to go to Peru for a “14 Day Machu Picchu & Amazon Ayahuasca Expedition” via Pulse Tours.

Ayahuasca is a natural medicine (containing DMT) that promotes deep mental, emotional, and spiritual healing. It has been known to successfully deal with depression, addiction, and anxiety disorders. These are all problems I struggle with on a daily basis.

A friend of mine who recently had an Ayahuasca retreat reported that she experienced 40 years of therapy in one evening.

Another reason that I want to go to Peru, is because other than visiting Canada when I was a teenager, I have not been out of the United States. I am currently 36, and have been deeply longing to experience other cultures for the past ten or so years.

Peru calls out to me for its natural beauty and its remains of ancient civilizations. The temples, the flora, the fauna; all of these things put a little song of hope in my heart.

Hope is hard to come by these days. So when I feel a little hope, I want to run towards it, and maybe find some more hope.

I believe that getting away from the concrete jungle and this U.S. culture I’ve become partially numb to/partially infuriated by will help me greatly. To explore and adventure, and to experience Ayahuasca with others who seek to heal and restore themselves.

I believe this could be what I need to move forward in my life.

I can’t guarantee it. I know that there are no magic bullets.

But this truly feels like my best shot right now. So I’d deeply appreciate your compassionate support.

Information on the retreat can be found here:

14 Day Machu Picchu & Amazon Ayahuasca Expedition

How the expense was calculated:

The 14-day experience costs $3180.

I’ll also need to get a passport, which is around $180.

Airfare could be $1500. Maybe cheaper, if I can get the timing right.

And then $500 for “just in case” funds, food not related to the time spent with Pulse Tours, and any expenses I haven’t foreseen.

If the $5360 proves to be too tall of an order, there are cheaper options available with shorter durations and without the sightseeing and exploring.

I’m not really in a position to be picky about this, but I feel like the optimal results would come from being able to take some time to integrate my experiences and do some real soul-searching.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. If you have any questions and comments, let me know, and please feel free to share this with anyone who might sympathize and be in a solid position to help.


Also published on Medium.