I am dying. Every day, I feel a little bit closer.
With the way most people in western society treat their bodies and minds, it’s surprising we live as long as we do. We eat dead things, devoid of nutritional value and packed full of destructive, wasteful elements; and then expect our living cells and tissues to stay alive and thrive. Our cells do the best they can with what they are given; a testament to these fleshy, living, adapting, amazing vessels we call bodies.
And imagine: if our bodies can keep us alive for decades upon decades while being fed from the saddest, lowest common denominator of fuel sources, then what can our bodies do when we treat them like sacred temples?
The “you are what you eat” cliché is entirely more literal (and true) than many people consider.
Honestly, it cracks me up, potlucks at churches. Here we have assemblies of people, who by virtue of their doctrine believe that their bodies are the living temples of God, stuffing their faces full of doughnuts, animal carcasses and secretions of every kind, cakes, ice cream, and more.
Is this how to treat a temple of God?
I am not just picking on churches. I’ve had similar thoughts after running 5K races. All these people who just ran for a few miles congratulate themselves by eating doughnuts. Worst of all, fundraisers against animal injustice, where animal products are served and consumed, and without the slightest modicum of irony.
Wake up, people!
Human intestines are too lengthy to properly consume meat; meat literally rots inside of us before it is digested. We fill ourselves up with dead, processed, sugary, artificial crap, and then don’t get enough fiber to work it through our systems.
Then we wonder why we feel tired, bloated, lifeless, and depressed. We wonder where our diseases come from, and we victimize ourselves as though our afflictions are random and unpreventable.
I could go on and on. I won’t (for now).
My point is, I am dying. Every day. Physically dying, from treating my body like a garbage dump. Emotionally and spiritually dying, from treating my body like a mausoleum.
I’ve struggled with addiction to sedating foods like cheese for my whole life. Cheese, oily pasta, greasy pizza, and so on. These foods have a numbing effect on emotions. They are perfect foods for people who want to shove their emotions into sub-consciousness and die young.
The addiction factor is such a wildcard. At least three years ago is when I decided that being a vegan was important to me ethically. I did not want to contribute to ignorance and suffering in the world, just for the sake of my taste buds’ preferences. Aligning myself with my ethics, though, has been more than a little challenging. I’ve gone long stretches of time being true to my values, and other times have reverted into former patterns.
Addiction to crap foods is fundamentally identical to drug dependency on a plethora of levels.
I remember (over ten years ago) telling a girlfriend I loved very dearly, “I choose you over drug use. I will never use drugs again, because you are more important to me. Much more important!” And I meant it, 100%, with all the fiber of my being. There was no doubt.
A week or two later, I was high again, and I hated myself for it. Shortly after that, she was not my girlfriend anymore.
It’s easy to be of two minds about behaviors that 1) I have highly compelling reasons to abandon, and 2) have brought me immense levels of comfort, satisfaction, and pleasure that I can’t seem to find anywhere else.
The psychological term for being at odds with myself is cognitive dissonance. The psychology and science of it are interesting, and pragmatic to understand.
Understanding how the mind works can be vital for effectively and intentionally transcending self-limitation.
Living in cognitive dissonance is living at odds with myself. Living at constant odds with myself is madness. A dissonant mind translates to a dissonant life.
I’m fed up with dissonant mind and dissonant mind alike. Nothing digs at me more severely than hypocrisy, and I’ve become a hypocrite.
I’m FED UP with making excuses to sustain my own mediocrity. I’m FED UP with blaming other people for my choices, and saying that, “If only I had the right support system, and lived in the right environment, I could live in accordance to my values and true physical needs.”
I’m FED UP with committing suicide by the only means that is socially acceptable: by gradually eating myself all the way to disease and death.
Some people may recommend I lighten up. I’ll pass. This intensity can be a beautiful catalyst for change. I do not hate myself for my mistakes. I do not wish myself pain and shame and death. Quite the opposite, I love myself enough to make decisions I can stand behind, smile about, and live for. Decisions that make my life mean something that rings true to my heart and soul (instead of only ringing true to my established escapist tendencies and hedonistic taste buds).
Being human is just a big, fat blast.
Why raw vegan?
Many vegetarians and vegans are not as healthy as they like to think. Some people give up on veganism because it made them sicker and weaker than they were to begin with.
Vegan food is not necessarily living food, nor is it inherently healthy to consume.
Leaving behind the insane societal norm of animal exploitation and slaughter is a noble moral endeavor, but by itself does not assure optimal physical health.
Cooking any kind of food destroys its enzymes. Enzymes are essential for digestion, metabolism, and well, existence in general. At 118F/45C, the enzymes in food die.
There are those who say that consuming living enzymes is conducive to optimal health, anti-aging, bolstering the immune system, preventing or alleviating physical and mental diseases of all sorts, and more.
There are others who claim it does not really matter that much, or at all.
Wanna know the truth? I don’t really know the truth.
All I know is that I feel like I’m dying, and I want to feel like I’m living.
So, I am going to try something I have never tried before, to potentially get results that I have never gotten before. I will be fully honest with myself (and others) during the process. If I start to smell bullshit, I won’t pretend otherwise. I will only croon on about miracles if what I experience is truly miraculous.
I usually go into things pretty haphazardly and by the seat of my pants, but this time I am carefully preparing, doing painstaking research, designing a thorough plan.
I will post my plan for a major body cleanse (including removal of harmful parasites) within a couple days. I will use the cleanse as a springboard into an entirely new lifestyle- a 100% raw vegan lifestyle that some may presume to be extreme, but I’d rather be extremely healthy than extremely sick.
And I’d rather be extreme than mediocre.
Being aligned with my values is important to me, and so is doing my own body justice. I have thirty-five years of ambitious, passionate ideas accumulated within me along with thirty-five years of caustic crap built up in my inward physical and psychic environs. It’s time to get all of that flowing out of me on both accounts so that I can confidently look to the future and say, my best is still yet to come.
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