You’ll never see me refuse to give someone on the streets money, because I’m afraid they’ll buy booze with it.
When I was 17, I remember a guy who told me his car broke down on the highway and he needed some money. I gave him a few bucks. A couple weeks later, the same guy told me the same story. I told him to fuck off.
Now I’m nearly 36. I’ve changed a little. I do not care who has what story. I am here in this world, to show love when I can. Unconditional love. Which means, I show love even when I am being lied to.
It’s not my job, to decide who can or cannot buy booze or drugs or cigarettes. It is not my job to influence anyone’s decisions, ever. My job is to show love.
There are people who love me, but sometimes I can’t see their love, because they try to make my decisions for me.
They try to say, “You should not drink,” when all I want to do is drink. Even if they are right, their rejection of me goes against the grain of everything that feels right to me in that moment. Their rejection of me actually reinforces my drive to act against their will. Their good intentions feed the inferno of my compulsions.
The same is true of virtually everyone. Even you. Think about when you’ve had a deep desire or a need, and nobody else could see the validity of it but you. Maybe a relationship, or a behavior. Did other people’s aversion to your desire subdue your desire, or feed it?
By presuming to know what’s best for others, we can easily feed their demons.
By loving others no matter what and without condition, we can soothe their souls.
There have been times in my life, when I would have done anything for some kind of self-destructive fix, whether it be drugs, liquor, or gluttony. Imagine the fire inside of me. The insatiate need to numb myself. The urge takes over, dominates my everything. Let’s say I’m in that situation, and I ask you for money.
You say no, because you do not want to contribute to my problems.
Do you think that stops me? Do you think you prevented me from getting my fix?
I’ll keep asking, until someone gives me what I want. Each time I am refused, I’ll think less and less of people who turn their heads away, thinking they know what’s better for me than I know for myself.
You don’t change people’s hearts by standing on higher ground than them. You help people by meeting them where they’re at.
Judging others never changed a thing. I promise you that.
Sometimes, people just need to be seen and heard. They don’t need to be judged, ever. Another thing I promise you, is that people judge themselves so much they’ll never need you to judge them too.
So, when someone approaches me. And tells me their story, about being stranded and needing money. If I have the money, I just give it. I look them in the eyes, and I let my love tell them that it’s okay if they are lying to me. I might lie in their shoes too. And so might you.
And they might not be lying.
I’ve been stranded before, and asked others for help. Sometimes I was provided for, other times I had to keep searching.
I’ll never forget the love I was shown when I needed it.
I will never forget the love I was shown when I didn’t.
I’ll never, ever forget the love I was shown when I didn’t deserve it.
Love is unforgettable and transformative.
So, just love. Let the universe sort out the rest.
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